police: what were you doing last night at exactly 12:41AM?

me: *sweats nervously* uh, nothing—

*ereri/riren doujins falling out of pockets*

me: what—no i don't know those people I swear

police:

me: I- I swea—

*ereri/riren fanfics bursting out from another pocket*

me: I-I mean I'm keeping these for a friend

police:

me: *nervous laughter* I s-swe-I swear